YOU KNOW YOU ARE A LINDY HOPPER IF...
You refer to your non-dancing friends as "Muggles".
You think that the next number after eight is one.
You told a beautiful young lady/guy who asked you out, "No, wait, I'm dancing that night."
You only go home to sleep, do laundry and to repack your dance bag.
You spend every long weekend at Lindy camps, workshops or competitions.
You frequently show up at work with a limp and/or bruises.
You no longer buy clothes you can't dance in.
Your t-shirts and hoodies all have dance events on them.
Your co-workers routinely catch you trying dance moves in the elevator and think nothing of it.
You take the mirrors off your ceiling and put them on the walls.
You drink eight glasses of water a night, and only need to use the restroom for hand washing.
You suffer some other major bodily harm and still want to dance.
The local bands know which songs to save for your arrival.
Visiting bands know which songs to save for your arrival.
You bring your own CD's when you go to a social event "just in case."
You go to a wedding or company Christmas party and everyone stops dancing to watch you.
A hot "11" Girl/Guy (on a scale of 1 to 10) asks you to dance and you turn them down because they have no rhythm.
A hot "11" Girl/Guy (on a scale of 1 to 10) asks you on a DATE and you turn them down because they have no rhythm.
Like every other college student, you stagger home after a night out - yet you've had nothing to drink.
You order drinks just to keep the club in business, but leave them sitting on the table while you dance instead of drinking them.
You know what "real men let go on five " means.
Your heart beats to this rhythm : Thump, thump, thump-de-dump, thump, thump, thump-de-dump.
You carry luggage to social events but aren't planning a trip.
You eat your main meal of the day at one in the morning.
Your newest line is "Hey, are those new shoes?" and you really DO want to talk about shoes.
More than one person can fit in your pants.
You have black and white feet.
You go swinging on the way to a swing lesson.
You eat more than your own weight in food every day.
The first question you ask a girl is "How much do you weigh?"
When you pick up girls, you pick UP girls!
Someone says vintage, they're not talking about wine.
You can't pass a shoe store without checking to see if they have Spectators, even if you already have several pairs.
Your underwear is an occasionally visible part of your evening ensemble.
You can't watch other forms of dance without trying to identify moves that could be turned into Swing steps or aerials.
You dance in the gas station parking lot while waiting for a cab.
You in the aisles at a grocery store for no apparent reason.
You schedule business trips around dance nights.
You think about Swing whenever you're not actually doing it.
Your non-dance friends (Muggles) keep hoping that you'll come to your senses so they can see you in person again.
You find you have more in common with the W.W.II vets in the VA than your friends and fellow students.
Aerials? Did someone say Aerials?
You spend years looking for skinny suspenders that DON'T clip on.
You gasp under your breath when you see clip suspenders.
Your spouse wonders why you must have a suspended wood dance floor in your basement.
The Salvation Army people are getting suspicious.
You saw the movie Swing Kids over fifteen times and you didn't even like it.
The only thing you can think of doing with a time machine is going back to the 1930s to pick up some vintage threads.
When you have a chance to video tape sexy ladies and studley guys, you aim the camera only at their feet.
You are a woman and you shop for underwear at Sports Authority, instead of Victoria's Secret.
Your friends no longer bother to ask you what you're doing on the weekends.
You think an iced bottle of water is the ultimate prize for a dance contest.
You routinely bring several changes of clothes, water, and a towel or two for a single night out.
You don't wear your dance shoes off the dance floor.
You sweat through your dance partner's shirt.
You evaluate the quality of CD players based on whether they skip when you and two of your closest friends jump up and down right next to them.
You don't need a sweater in January.
Your non-dancing friends (Muggles) start to refer to you as "obsessed" or "rabid."
Your dancing friends refer to you as "obsessed" or "rabid."
You tell those two non-dancing friends NOT to come visit you any weekend a big swing event is on because you know they won't want to go and you'll either go and feel guilty, or miss it and MISS IT!
People know and greet you only by a screen-name/nickname, not of your own choosing, bestowed upon you by fellow dancers.
You bought a copy of Disney's "The Jungle Book" to see the animated Lindy dancing monkeys.
You make people gasp when you dance.
You make people laugh when you dance.
Alcohol impairs your dancing instead of loosens you up.
Home improvement includes removing carpeting, installing wood floors, and putting mirrors on the walls.
You have fond memories of "hopping" in a major Hollywood movie.
You wear kick shorts under dresses at ALL TIMES, even when dancing isn't expected, just in case.
You realize that you have more pairs of dance shoes than shoes you wear out on a normal basis.
You don't think is strange to travel to Sweden for dance classes.
You have traveled to numerous cities and can describe who you saw, who you danced to/with, what the dance venues looked like, and what late night diner you visited, but can't remember what the city actually looks like.
You hit the all the breaks in the music at work.
You schedule your leg day workout so the next two days are not a dance night.
As a woman you love shopping Mod Cloth for great swing dresses, only to get to an event and realize so did every other Follow.
You can check your luggage, but never, ever check your dance shoes.
You ask your friends/family to plan special events (weddings, holidays, birthday parties, etc) around dance exchanges and workshops.
You only order water from the bar. Twist if lime if you're feeling crazy.
You walk down the street in eight-counts.
Lines are for Charleston.